I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We left the knife in your bed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
