Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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