Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have post one night stand depression
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize