wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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