Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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