worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize