new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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