she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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