I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
