How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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