He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
