JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We talked him into tasing himself.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
