What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
