i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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