is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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