i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize