We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
