have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
