I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
