Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
