He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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