I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you traded sex for a burrito?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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