By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
