just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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