Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
