Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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