hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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