I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
