i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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