why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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