Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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