So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
