I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
