Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize