I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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