I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
