hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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