PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize