Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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