it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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