the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
