I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
