i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
