Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
