Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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