you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
