In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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