why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
