So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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