I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm both gender and math confused
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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