The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
