Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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