We got so high we made milksteak
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
