Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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