duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
