you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
