That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
