I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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