You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
