Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
