Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
